The Diet
by Rosella Friesen
When behind closed doors gets quiet,
My stomach churns, my head spins, the word is diet;
Not only has the phone stopped ringing,
Even the birds have hushed their singing.
I say "my world is at peace and rest,"
Then my stomach puts it to a test;
In the dark and silence comes this voice,
And I absolutely have no choice.
In the cool and wonderful refrigeration,
Brings me visions of a wonderful creation;
From the kitchen something calls to me,
"Rosella, here I am," in clear a cappella.
By now you're wondering about this mystery,
My diet books will attest to my history;
Liquid diets, fit for life, all you can eat and rotation,
Put me on a continual motivation.
Bouncing like an India rubber ball,
Running up and down my long hall;
Every time I increased my speed,
My hunger pangs I had to feed.
Now, you wonder, how I did lose weight?
With my diet books I had a date;
Carrying the heavy stack around,
Decreased my fat pound by pound!
While holding the books in hand,
It's harder to eat, especially if you stand;
My advice to you about adipose tissue,
Carry the books around, that will kill the issue.
Hold the book instead of fat,
The writers get rich and that's that;
Try it, buy it, your size will shrink,
Driving you nuts, or maybe to drink.
What's the use I say anymore,
Be fat or thin a happy face really keeps score.
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